This time, however, the Bongs have gone too far, according to Penguin India. They are suing a Bong group for creating a massive Durga statue set in an intricately-made Hogwarts (that’s from Harry Potter, for those who are living in caves).

The community group is being targeted by lawyers representing Penguin India on behalf of JK Rowling and Warner Brothers who hold the rights to Harry Potter in India. Members say that they make a different model every year – in the past they have built the Titanic.This year they chose Hogwarts School – as well as life-size models of Harry Potter and his friends. Organisers said a mock steam engine train is also being constructed next to it, to resemble Hogwarts Express. Correspondents say the construction is nearing completion and is expected to cost around 1.2 million Indian rupees ($30,000). [link]

Ok, correct me if I’m wrong, but these things are usually the result of people going around door-to-door, collecting money and then using that money to build the mandaps (which is what these imaginative settings for the idol are called). So who exactly are they suing? Is it the lane or apartment building from which the money was collected? And I’m not even sure if these things make a profit. Generally, people give some money when they pray, but it’s not exactly commercially-viable. It’s more like a goodwill thing. Anyhow, apparently the High Court disagrees with me, as does Warner Brothers.

Penguin India’s spokeswoman Nirmalya Roychowdhury told the Associated Press news agency that Delhi High Court has already ruled that the organisers of the Durga Puja festival must remove the display or pay the fine for copyright violation.

“Sadly, the organizers of this large-scale commercially sponsored event did not approach us for permission to go ahead,” Warner Brothers said in a statement in London.

“This event falls outside the guidelines set up by Warner Bros., JK Rowling and her publishers to help charitable and not-for-profit organizations to run small-scale themed events that protect fans and allow everyone to enjoy Harry Potter books, films and events in the spirit in which they were created,” the statement said. [link]

Seems to be one in a long line of frivolous lawsuits that are on the increase in India. Is it a consequence of economic growth? Or is it just another example of the corporate bigwigs frustrated by media piracy, and taking it out on the little guy?

Update: Good news – looks like the courts in India rule in favor of the little guy. Read this:

Indian fans of Harry Potter books welcomed Saturday a court verdict that gave the go-ahead to organisers of a religious event to build a life-size replica of the fictional Hogwarts Castle.

The Delhi High Court threw out on Friday a claim by author J.K. Rowling that the giant structure constructed in the city of Kolkata infringed copyright.

Organisers now have permission to keep the papier mache and bamboo castle in place until Durga Puja, the biggest Hindu religious event in eastern India, on October 26. [link]

Okay, this may be a tad too cynical, but take a little Buddhism, add a military regime, throw in a Nobel Peace Prize laureate (imprisoned) and you get something which is just begging for a Hollywood celebrity to make it their cause du jour. Well, there’s no need to beg, because it’s done already. Be warned: what you’re about to see is cheese personified. I’d keep a bucket handy to puke into, just in case.

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All jokes apart, what’s happening in Burma is truly egregious. Just today, a Japanese journalist was shot dead for filming the junta. Someone managed to get a video of it, and the entire Japanese news report of the incident is posted on YouTube. It isn’t gory, but it’s certainly stomach-wrenching. And this time I’m serious.

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…somebody has just shown me a thing called ?Facebook?, which they say is being used by lots of new graduates. I have been told that the economic value of my ?network? is not what it was. What is going on?

The Economist (Tim Harford) replies:

…simple arithmetic ignores an offsetting effect: diminishing marginal returns. The first mobile phones were used to conduct multi-million-dollar deals. One more mobile phone today is one more source of classroom text messages. Many people who sign up to Facebook quickly find they have no use for it. [link]

Hear, hear. Count me in as one of those. I was coaxed into joining by several different people, and did so in the hopes I could network professionally. But except for reconnecting with old school chums in India (and the associated short-term thrills), it served little purpose to me. In fact, there were even some negative externalities since I was forced to deal with certain people who I was quite comfortable keeping ten thousand miles away, both physically and mentally.

(via)

Pacino increasingly sought out big, shouty parts and then inflated them past their already outsized proportions: He out-Sataned Satan in The Devil’s Advocate (1997), spontaneously combusted at regular intervals in Two for the Money (2005), and imitated a disgruntled spaniel in this year’s Ocean’s Thirteen.

The victory of shtick over craft is disheartening. It’s important to remember, though, that the man is a populist, whether he’s communing with admirers outside the stage door or directing Looking for Richard, a film obsessed with making Shakespeare accessible to a mass audience. [link]

The story is even more racy than the title – a lesbian marries four women in Nigeria, where homosexuality is forbidden by the Sharia law there, and same-sex marriages are illegal.

A Nigerian lesbian who “married” four women last weekend in Kano State has gone into hiding from the Islamic police, with her partners.

The theatre where the elaborate wedding celebration was held on Sunday has been demolished by Kano city’s authorities.

…

The BBC’s Bala Ibrahim in Kano says Aunty Maiduguri and her four “wives” are thought to have gone into hiding the day after they married. [link]

Of course, polygamy is allowed by Sharia in Nigeria, and a man is allowed to take four wives if he can support them. If you ask me, I say more power to them all. Screw the outdated notions of the Nigerian legal system.

But forget about all that. I’m more worried about what’s happening to the Beeb. I’d expect this story to be in a bloody tabloid, not the BBC!

Last night, The Daily Show‘s “Senior Mumbai Bureau Chief” Aasif Mandvi’s sketch on the Richard Gere incident was lackluster at best. It just wasn’t that funny. Here’s my pause ‘n play analysis. Incidentally, if you haven’t watched it yet, go ahead and do so. Then come back here for the fun-alysis.

Play
First, Jon Stewart opens it by making a joke about how public displays of affection are a touchy subject in India ever since a “certain spiritual leader” was groped on the subway – with a shot of Kali at her eight-armed worst in the corner of the screen.

Pause
See, I would’ve done some research here. Firstly, Kali isn’t a spiritual leader, she’s a goddess. Secondly, does any city in India even have a working subway? I’m not sure about this one, but I know for sure that Bombay doesn’t. Yes, Calcutta does. Nonetheless though, I would have probably used a picture of Phoolan Devi, and said it’s a taboo topic ever since someone tried to grope her and she shot him. You got to admit, she looked pretty fierce.

Play
This was followed by the sketch itself, with Mandvi talking about the time difference by calling it “Pamini Vandla Vuru” time.

Pause
This is like Nahasapeemapetilon. It sounds vaguely Indian to the average American, but is not. The solution? Just ask any desi what Indian Standard Time is in his native language. Why make up fake words, when there’s gold in reality?

Play
Then Mandvi is interrupted by a phone call, which he answers in a British accent with a customer service line, something like, “Hello, this is Chandler, how may I provide you with excellent service?” At which point he realizes he’s on camera, apologizes to Jon, and sheepishly says “We all do that here.”

Pause
That one gets a 4 out of 10. The call center jokes are getting old. They’re like, sooo December ’06! Seriously though: Yes, there are call centers are in India. We get it. Now can we move on?

Play
Then he talks about burning effigies and Stewart asks him how one can get a Richard Gere effigy. And Mandvi answers by saying, “You take a Josh Hartnett effigy and age it by 30 years.”

Pause
Hmm, we’re starting to see some humour (finally!). The best joke though, was right at the end, when he talks about Al Sharpton: “If you’re darker than a caramel, Reverend Al speaks for you.” Now, that was classic Daily Show fare.

The Bottomline? Now that desis and Bollywood are fairly in the mainstream culture at the moment (what with Desis@Macy’s, etc.), it’s time the American comedians took a little effort into doing some research before cracking jokes about us. I mean, ask your local newsstand dealer, for god’s sake! Ignorance in the US, especially among the lower-level comedians is pretty universal and hard to fight, but I thought Jon Stewart and Aasif Mandvi (Helloo – desi!) at least, could do a little better. Hell, Colbert pulled it off pretty well!

Its nothing new that the majority of movies coming out of Bollywood are mostly junk. In fact, I may even have said a thing or two about it. But when the indomitable Naseeruddin Shah speaks, people listen. An article a few days ago on the BBC, has him ranting hard about pretty much everything on Bollywood, following Rang De Basanti‘s loss in the BAFTAs (the BAFTA is Britain’s answer to America’s Oscar) Foreign Film category. Says Naseer,

“We just don’t make films of an international standard.”

“I really don’t think we make films that can match those from other parts of the world. And I am not referring to Hollywood – we make copies of Hollywood,” he added.

Comparing Bollywood to other film industries, Mr Shah said: “We can’t match the types of films made in Iran for example, Poland, Japan, Mexico or Brazil, Vietnam or Korea.

“These countries are producing the most incredible movies and we are still plodding on with our boy-meets-girl safe, old formula. That is the reason I think our films aren’t taken seriously”. [link]

It’s rare (and nice) to see such vigorous criticism coming from one of Bollywood’s top actors. And by “top” I don’t mean “A-List” but, literally, one of the finest acting talents that India has to offer. While I wholeheartedly agree with Naseer, I also have to say that things are changing in Bollywood. The traditional “boy-meets-girl” formula still exists and a vast majority of the films use it, but there are small, but significant films that go against the tide and surprise us. For instance, several of the movies that RGV makes are not the usual fare. More recently, Maqbool and Omkara were also excellent. And these small films have been increasing in number over the last few years, with the economy (and exposure) opening up.

Oscar: So close, yet so far…

Now, about Rang De Basanti: First of all, the fact that Rang De Basanti did not win the BAFTA is not surprising to me. It was also India’s selection for the Oscars. Obviously, it didn’t even make it to the shortlist. Why do Indians fail to see what might be globally appealing? Basanti wasn’t a great movie by any standards. While it started off quite well, giving us hope that this might be different from the usual Bollywood fare, it just nosedived after the first half into total disaster. People said Omkara would have been a better choice. I agree. And I know that there are a few other movies out there that would also have been good choices for export.

Secondly, the question is, even if a good movie is found and selected in an intelligent fashion from the mundane crap that Bollywood has to offer, will the filmmakers market it effectively enough so that it’s picked up by the Academy? I mean, they really have to push hard. And historically, they have not been too successful in doing this. Lagaan was an exception, but I heard that Aamir Khan sweat blood making sure the movie got its fair share of attention on this side of the Atlantic. The question is, can others handle it? It’s an uphill battle, I would imagine, and one that is fiercely competitive. India is at a competitive disadvantage, I think, because our movies don’t have much exposure over here and a majority (but not all) Westerners have certain notions about the country which they like to see reflected on screen.

Thirdly, if they are going to take time and effort to market films out of India, I would like to see movies that don’t exploit India’s poverty [Salaam Bombay, Born Into Brothels] and/or ancient (and unjust) traditions [Water]. It’s bad enough that I have to sit through that crap, but then to have Americans come and ask you for months afterwards whether I got married when I was eight, or other such nonsense, is a bit much for me. While India has several problems, we’ll leave Anand Patwardhan to film them. The rest of you filmmakers out there, please stay away from India’s social issues. Unless, of course, you’re willing to deal with them in an interesting way, with good acting and a plot which gives some credit to my intelligence.

Ok. It’s out of my system now…

So, the RX Geek and me are training for the SF Marathon coming up at the end of July. We’re using this training schedule. We didn’t choose that particular one for any special reason other than that it was easy to find, was well-suited for beginners (it’s the first time for her) and fulfilled the “ten percent” criteria. It’s pretty normal for a marathon training schedule: five running days weekly, steadily increasing increments (no more than ten percent per week in mileage), and with a medium run on Wednesdays and the long run on Sundays. There are three consecutive running days on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and no matter how many miles we have to run, Thursday is always the hardest.

I am really not sure why – perhaps it’s a psychological thing because it’s the last running weekday. Or perhaps its because we are tired from doing the medium run the day before. I’m really not sure. But we always run about a minute slower than our regular pace, and it is always a pain. Today, especially, my quads were like wooden sticks (even after stretching). And the rain and cold didn’t exactly help. Particularly after my shoes and socks got drenched after inadvertent puddle-stepping.

On the bright side though, we resisted the urge to cut corners and did manage to finish. And then I remembered why I love running. The high. Man, is it good. And yes, I am aware that I’m addicted. Which reminds me, in addition to running SF this year, I’m also qualified for guaranteed entry into the New York Marathon. So this year, I’ll be running New York for the second time. Can’t wait!

Start spreading the news…

On New Year?s Eve, I was supposed to click pictures of revellers at the Gateway of India, but what I witnessed instead has left me shaken.

A young woman was groped by some 60 perverts in plain public view, while her male friend, who tried to protect her, was pushed aside violently.

The 10 harrowing minutes the helpless woman cried for help as the perverts abused her, shook my faith in the city I have lived in all my life. I thought such things happened only in Delhi. I was clearly wrong. [link]

This is pathetic, people. I’m ready to allow Bombay to be rude, but this is disgusting. Truly disgusting. And apparently, the police had no knowledge of the incident.

PSI Umesh Kadam, who was on duty at Colaba police station on the night expressed surprise and said, ?Nobody filed a complaint with us. We haven?t received a report about any such incident. I have been on duty in the police station the whole night.? [link]

Sepia Mutiny and Amit Varma have more on the incident.

Update: It looks like they’ve arrested five people from that night, but as long as there is no registered complaint (which there isn’t), they can’t keep them there for long. See here.

It was last Thursday, past dinnertime (around 8.45 or so). I had been there once before, had enjoyed the dessert and was looking forward to it again. There were four of us, and the restaurant was empty. Only two or three out of around twelve tables were occupied. Yet, we were told by the host – a short, bald, stocky, white man with a goatee – that the tables were only for dinner and not for dessert. He suggested for us to sit at the bar where there were only three seats available, and that one of us should stand. He literally told us to eat that way. It’s not so much that we were told to stand and eat that bothered me, it was his attitude. He had a smirk on his face and his “suggestion” was more like an order to us common-folk. When I said something about the restaurant being empty, he smirked again, and gave me a look that basically said, “Sit at the bar, or get out.” Well, we got out!

At first, I thought this treatment stemmed from the fact that we were a group of four Indians. In which case a “Dogs and Indians Not Allowed [link]” sign at the door would have sufficed. However, a careful look through the user reviews at a few places online (see here, here, and here) reveals that everyone is treated this way. Well, that’s sort of like the T-Shirt that says, “End Racism: Kill Everyone.” You got to admit, at least, that it will end racism!

Two things don’t make sense to me: First of all, the owner is supposedly a pretty famous chef (at least from the Press on their website). Obviously, she is not as good a manager as she is a chef. Some of the user reviews I saw have been around for quite a while, and clearly nothing has been done about them. Since the culture of a place trickles down from its leadership, it even makes me wonder what kind of a person she is. Secondly, if the restaurant is empty and no one is having dinner, why the [bleep] can’t you allow us to have dessert there? With that kind of business model, you’ll be attracting a whole lot of customers like us who plan to never set foot in that place again.

It is surprising and disappointing that, in this day and age of management-speak, a place like that should have such apalling customer service. It is more surprising that it is in San Francisco. Citizen Cake just lost four customers and everyone else who is repulsed enough not to visit there after reading this.