The Great Ganesha

Via the Ultrabrown News Feed which, I think, is one of the best ways to get your desi-in-the-media fix (if that’s the kind of thing you go for (I know I do (and not only can I nest sentences within sentences but also parentheses within parentheses (see?)))) - I found this article about a freelancing pundit. Not the CNN kind, the real deal - a Hindu priest:

“Driving, driving, driving. Our work, a little bit difficult. Driving, a little bit tiring,” Sastry said as he steered his sky-blue BMW — license plate PRIEST-B — around the Capital Beltway from his Ashburn home to the Ellicott City housewarming, a ceremony considered most auspicious if performed before sunrise. “But this is a respected thing,” he said.

Freelance priests are bountiful in India, but just seven serve one of the Washington region’s largest ethnic communities. Census data from 2006 indicate that 105,000 Indians live in the area, about 60 percent of whom are immigrants; most have settled in Fairfax, Loudoun, Montgomery and Howard counties. To those who regularly call upon them, Sastry and his counterparts become trusted family priests, akin to family doctors or accountants. [link]

Had I only known this, I could have avoided an entire trip to India to get married for the second time (to the same person). Fly Mr. Sastry down, perform the ceremony and voila! We are married the Hindu way. We are happy to have avoided wedding-related trauma drama hungama costs. The ever-increasing-in-religiousness elders are happy since we are officially married the Hindu way. And Mr. Sastry is happy with anything we pay him. So I would have only given him $1 + expenses (I’m Ahmedabadi, after all). Everybody’s happy.

Sastry declined to discuss his fees, saying the payment is up to the devotees

My “suggested fee” wouldn’t cut it. Especially since this priest takes his kids to Disneyworld!

Clients said they typically pay $150 to $200 for a ritual of a few hours. They also pay his expenses, including mileage — “IRS rate,” he said, chuckling. It is enough for a tidy townhouse and a yearly vacation with his wife and two sons, 11-year-old Vignesh and 8-year-old Pavan. Last year, they hit Disney World.

Disneyworld? What kind of a Hindu are you, Mr. Sastry? You should - at the very least - take your kids here. If they’re lucky they’ll get to spot B-list actors in blue paint. And strings are $2 per. I kid, of course. Mr. Sastry can take his kids any where he damn well pleases. Or where they damn well please. Either way.

At any rate though, the one thing that bothers me about this is the license plate. “PRIEST B”? WTF? Something creative would be good. Like say, “SWAHA MAN” or “PUNDIZIT”. What say?