The Great Ganesha

Well, to start with, there’s Zoloft, Wellbutra, Paxil, Celexa, Cymbalta, Lexapro and of course, the oldie-but-goldie Prozac, to name just a few. If you’re not into prescription drugs, you can load up on the over-the-counter codeine derivatives found in your everyday cough syrup. Then you can go “under the counter” (wink wink, nudge nudge). Hell, you can even sniff glue if that’s what you’re into.

But not this Mexican kid. He certainly used glue, but not to sniff it, but to glue himself to his bed, so that he couldn’t be forced to go to school!

Diego had got up early to fetch some industrial-strength glue from the kitchen.

His mother spent two hours trying to free him with nail-polish remover before calling for expert help.

Diego watched cartoons while paramedics dissolved the glue with a spray. [link]

So kids, let this be a lesson to you. This method is legal, it’s relatively safe and you get to watch cartoons while being rescued. If you want to avoid school, don’t do drugs - just glue yourself to your bed.

This Public Service Announcement brought to you by The Great Ganesha. Because we care.

The Great Ganesha is not responsible for irreversible hand damage, bed damage or both. If, in the process of gluing your hand to your bed, you also glue your nose, your face, or any other part of your body, things will get uncomfortable. This message is not intended to endorse avoiding school, even though it comes off as such and the words “avoid school” are explicitly in the message. Also, this is not a legally binding document to show we care. In reality, we don’t care. Finally, ingesting the glue may also cause other digestive disorders like excessive gas, oily discharge in the stool and general abdominal pain. Other than that though, we highly recommend it.