The Great Ganesha

“O Mighty Lord Ganesha, will you accept this can of generic diet cola nestled in my crotch, in return for just one box office hit? Please? Pretty please?”

A buff Bollywood actor (whose half-naked pic I have gratuitously posted for the viewing pleasure of our thus inclined readers) decides that he wants to visit a Ganesha puja in Bombay. What happens next? A Muslim “clergy” (sic) from Bareilly issues a fatwa against him.

Mufti Fakidr Qadri Mohammad Farukh Gafrutula issued the fatwa on behalf the Ifta-Manzar-e-Islam on the issue of idol-worshipping by any Muslim.

According to the fatwa, if Salman wants to become a Muslim again, he will have to read the ‘Kalma’ again. [link]

Well, if it isn’t one Salman, it’s another. Parents, whatever you do, do not name your kids Salman. It just spells f-a-t-w-a.

But there’s more: The cleric’s fifteen seconds of fame ran out before he could finish telling everyone his full name and the name of his organization. So he expanded the fatwa, not just to Salman, but to every Muslim who’s ever been in a temple or a church ever.

The clergy, however, maintained that the fatwa was not specifically for Salman, but it was for every Muslim who has worshipped idol. [link]

Does that include worshipping food? Because the other day, we had some excellent Szechuan with a Muslim friend, and he used words like “divine” and “heavenly” to describe it. I’m just curious. No, really.

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