The Great Ganesha

“Goddam piece of shit!” he muttered under his breath, but just loud enough for the man next to him to hear.

“Amen to that!” Replied the man.

“I have some chemicals here, that I got to get to the lab,” he said raising his carry-box with the radioactive sign on it, “and if that elevator doesn’t come in the next ten seconds, there will be consequences!”

“Damn straight, brother! Those things take way longer than they should. My pizza here’s getting cold and I’m going to have to shell out fifteen bucks if that thing isn’t delivered soon!”

Trying desperately to ignore this testosterone outburst, I took out my cell phone and started pressing buttons, trying to look busy. Dan’s name came up when I pressed the ‘Send’ button, since I had only just called him ten minutes ago. Dan, is my husband, who was on a business trip to New York. School being out for the summer, and the third-graders off my back for a few months, I decided to tag along courtesy of Hewitt and Larson, LLP, Dan’s employers. Today, I was just walking around the city and I landed up in Midtown, so I decided to take a ride up and down the elevators in the Empire State Building. I was desperately pressing random buttons on my phone, hoping and praying that the two men wouldn’t expect me to join in their griping.

Fortunately, the elevator arrived in the nick of time and I didn’t have to call Dan interrupting his business meeting. Patiently waiting for it to empty, with the pizza-guy’s foot tapping furiously, we finally got in. Just as the doors were about to close, a hand slipped in between them and in walked a middle-aged man, dressed in a suit and tie, completely involved in a conversation on his cell phone. This was followed by the elevator’s ding, and we started to go up. There was a brief silence and the air was heavy with the odour of sweat coming from (I thought) the pizza guy.

“Yeah,” said the well-dressed man, “don’t sell it now. Just wait for the forward price to hit thirty two. I’m telling you, man! You do this and you won’t regret it. Trust me!”

Silent pause as he waits for a reply. The floor numbers are being lit, one by one, 6, 7, 8, …

“No, no, no! Look, what was the Dow this morning? Eleven K plus, right? I’m heavy into the ETFs right now, I got stuff in the Dow, the S&P, you name it. So I’m telling you, I know what I’m talking about! Just wait until it hits thirty two before selling. And it will hit thirty two. Believe me, it will! I’m in the business, man! I know what I’m talking about!”

12, 13, 14. It stops. The pizza guy gets out. And then there were three. 15, 16, 17…

“Where is it now? In the late teens? I’m telling you that it will hit thirty two in the next ten minutes. It’s climbing, isn’t it?”

23, 24, 25…

“Ok, ok, so like I said. It’s going faster than I thought. That’s fine. That’s better than fine! We get rich quicker! Heh heh!”

30, 31, 32. Ding!

“That’s it, buddy! Sell, sell sell! Sell it all! Heh heh! You owe me big-time, man!

The lab guy gets out with his radioactive box. Now it’s just the two of us – the businessman and me.

“What did you have in there? Three, four hundred K? Excellent!”

38, 39, 40. Ding! The man gets off. He has a big grin on his face. Now I’m alone and the elevator starts again. My ears pop as it climbs all the way up.

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