The Great Ganesha

Jonathan Allen of the NYT takes a trip to Bombay to learn how to eat a mango in three easy steps:

The most important lesson: How to eat a mango, presented in a three-part mime. She first holds out a cupped hand, in which sits the imaginary glistening orange oval of a whole peeled mango; she then deftly flicks her hand at the wrist to propel the phantom mango against her mouth, which gets busy sucking the flesh down to the seed; finally, outrageously, she deploys the full length of her tongue to lick her arm, elbow to wrist, to recapture an inevitable trickle of invisible mango juice.”That,” she says after a long moment’s rapture with a fruit that’s not even there, “is the best bit.” She goes on to speculate that there is something alchemical in the mingling of sweetest mango juice with a salty sheen of sweat.

(Later, a local driver reacted with horror to the mime. “So you don’t eat them like that?” I ask. “Well yes, at home, of course,” he says. “But not in the streets! People will think that’s where you live.”)

Ah, the mango season…[wax nostalgic here]…

The good news for desis in the US is that along with nuclear information, the US is also going to allow Indian mangoes on its soil! So, next year, it’s likely US desis will see some nice Bombay mangoes. And, like everything else, of course, we get the best variety. The real desis will be stuck with the substandard stuff…he he he… I guess living in the US does have some perks. Here’s what the article says about the Mango Embargo:

The Indian wing of DHL even offers a courier service specifically for mangoes, although the United States has long been absent from its list of destinations because of its ban on Indian mangoes. But the ban should soon be lifted as part of a deal struck by President Bush on his March visit to the country, which will also give India easier access to nuclear technology. Quid pro quo, as far as many Indians are concerned. “The U.S. is looking forward to eating Indian mangoes,” he said at a press conference, cheering up a local press that he had earlier disappointed by not seeming too well-versed about cricket and Bollywood, two other Indian passions.

I’m really tempted to make some comments about Bush’s ignorance about all things not related to oil, football or the Texas Rangers. But I won’t. It’s just too cliched these days…

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